by Rick Shur, 2004

Johnny is a technology whiz, and he will use his Remington typewriter to make out the contract that Phil Steiner will sign to give up his ranch to Saul, assuming that Michelle and Mabel can find someone in town to take on Gil Wyeth, a daunting proposition. Johnny tells Dave that he is not really interested in ranching because he sees a future in rubber, a substance that will revolutionize the world.


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Let's talk about rubber
Greatest stuff to be devised
Remarkable rubber
Goodyear's friends were all surprised
Incredible rubber
Now it's come to be so prized
Tap it from a tree trunk
Sappy gum'll be gunk
Till you get it vulcanized.

Just hear about rubber
It's the product of the future
Just think about rubber
and how it will obviate fur
Put on rubber
It'll be in things we wear like
Rubber moccasins and
Rubber pantaloons and
Rubber caps for coverin' hair

Rubber tubes and hoses
Rubber ducks and noses
Rubber gloves to help protect our hands
Rubber balloons, rubber walled rooms
Rubber stamps and gaskets
horseless carriage tires
and dental dams

Stoppers stoppin' water
Condoms keepin' daughters
safer and not having toddlers
Rubber heels for hikers
Jockey straps for bikers
Rubber straps aren't made for coddlers

It'll be a must for me and U-
biquitous rubber
Twill build the States like gold built Rom-
antic rubber
It'll be in great demand, oh
Rubber rope for bungee jumpers
Rubber baby buggy bumpers
Rubber for a brave new land.

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